Redefining Success: Beyond Titles and Money | A Deep Dive Discussion - EP3

Redefining Success: Beyond Titles and Money | A Deep Dive Discussion- EP3
Join us on a journey of self-discovery and redefining success with hosts exploring what it truly means to find inner peace, meaningful connections, and personal fulfillment. Through candid conversations and personal anecdotes, we challenge conventional definitions of success, exploring how societal pressures and personal experiences shape our aspirations. From career transitions to life's unexpected challenges, we share insights on navigating life's complexities while striving for a deeper, more spiritually grounded sense of achievement. Whether you're reevaluating your goals or seeking inspiration, tune in to explore the path less traveled towards personal fulfillment. 

Transcript

 When you really think about it, the success and the drive that you want for the success in your life, is it really driven by yourself? 

Mm.    I think success has more of a spiritual definition. 

Okay.    Because if you're not after a title or money, which I know, probably a crazy idea, Mm hmm. Not wanting money to be part of our definition of success.

Right. Um,  Then I guess the other question people would ask is then what is your definition of success? 

  You tell people, or yeah, you tell some people nowadays that you don't want to work a regular 9 5 for the rest of your life and they're like, Oh, you're lazy. You're just lazy. 

  Yeah, graduating high school to I would easily say midway 20s, late 20s.

I would 

say like, Easily 26, 27. Yeah. Before males, anyway, start to get their shit together.

  You and I have both been through some shit. Yeah. We have been through some shit, man. Life experience is important. Exactly. And, that shit,  is what helps.  You become who you're supposed to be.  Three, two.  

 Welcome back to the podcast. 

The podcast. How's it going guys? 

Great, how are you? 

Awesome. 

Good. 

Cool. 

Sweet.  Start these episodes so good.  

So, today. 

What are we going to talk about? What are we going to talk about today?  

Today. We're going to talk about success, what that means to you, what that means to us.  We're just going to dig a little deeper into that. 

What it is, what it isn't  from two people on a journey  to  redefine what their own success means. 

Correct. 

Yeah.  So  you want to start? What is, what, what is the ideal success to you?  

The ideal success to me? Oh boy. That's a loaded question, Corey. Yeah. I don't know.  I think. Success has more of a spiritual definition.

Okay. Okay. 

I don't necessarily incorporate materialistic things, I guess, when I think of success, what it means to me, and I guess the bigger picture. Um,  so yeah, I mean, I just, when I think of success, I think I think of inner peace. 

Okay. 

Inner peace, being at one with yourself and  yeah, just being, I guess, in love with who you are and 

I'm smiling because I think it's a i, I, no, I agree. I think it's, I 

And yeah, all aspects of that, you know what I mean? And um 

Yep.  

So inner peace, yeah, love, meaningful connections and motivation. And yes, you can love yourself and you can motivate yourself. Okay.  But I think personally to a certain extent,  you know what I mean? 

Yep. 

You can motivate yourself to a certain extent.  You know, before  you feel like something's missing. Yep. You know, and that's just human nature. 

Yep And I mean you can only drive yourself so far too. And I think  A good example is almost when you get a personal trainer at the gym. Mm hmm Because you know you you you're gonna push yourself. You're gonna work on pushing yourself. Yes Um, but sometimes you just need someone to be there with you

exactly 

and tell you know what you you got five You got ten more like like you can push a little harder actually um Yeah, so I, I agree. 

There's nothing wrong with wanting someone besides you. Nope. Not necessarily holding your hand, you know what I mean? But just offering the support that you can't give yourself. 

Yep. 

You know? Because let's be honest, there's times in life where  you feel lost. Yep. And you don't know where to go. Yep. And  It's hard to keep yourself motivated  points in time like that. You know what I mean? And you often find yourself looking for,  for lack of a better term, a shoulder to cry on. Yeah. You know what I mean? So, 

which it's also hard because when you try and find that shoulder to cry on, um,  It's pretty non existent. Like it's, it's hard to make meaningful connection with people. And, um, yeah, I w we were talking about this earlier. Cause it stemmed from part of a podcast. I started to listen to by Simon Sinek, just, you know, talking about how he focuses on wanting to be a beat. Better friend to people, right? Right. It really made me think also about how I'm friend to people sometimes and he was talking about like, you know, sometimes your friends just need you to just be there. Yeah. Like they don't need answers. They don't need to fix. I have discovered that I'm definitely one of those fixer friends. It's like, I'll give you suggestions or advice on like how to do better, but maybe, maybe your friends just need you to just be there and just be like, yep. You know what? Times are tough. They're tough for me. Um, obviously not turn it around and be like, yeah, my life sucks too, but  just to have people there. And I think so many people, they take success and what they want it to be, um, the materialistic things, the positions, the titles, uh, and they put a lot of focus on that. But it's a lot of very self centered focus and they don't really think of, you know, what what does success look to myself, right? And we were talking about this the other day  About when you really think about it the success and the drive that you want for the success in your life Is it really driven by yourself? Mm hmm. And when we were talking about this, I was like, you know what that that's that's a really good point Cause you have the goals, you have the dreams, but a lot of that stems from your parents when you're younger, asking you like, Hey, what do you want to be when you grow up? And then, you know, if you say, Oh, I want to be a doctor, there's, you know, expectations of what success as a doctor looks like.

So do you live up to success you want for yourself or are you just growing into success that other people want for you? And I think  when you started and you said it's more of a spiritual feeling,  um, and we've talked about this before.  Between us as we're getting ready for this episode. Um, success is very much more.

I think a spiritual feeling it is, um, and like certain goals in life on how I want to feel. Um, and just to touch on it, like my ideal definition of success is having the time. To be able to do what I want, still, you know, contributing back to society, um, through some sort of job, maybe it's helping people grow as leaders, right?

Um, cause I love leadership and leadership development, which, you know, over time I've kind of gotten stuck in routines and habits where that part of my life goes on the back burner. Cause I'm like, Oh, well I have to focus on a, which is my main primary job. Um, and you run out of time for others. So then you get mixed into like  the middle ground where you're just kind of stuck.

And I think this is why building meaningful connection. that you mentioned with people is so important, um, because if you get stuck in these moments where you're like, Oh, I've been doing the same thing for six months and I'm not feeling successful. Maybe you need a friend to be like, Hey, remember when you wanted to like go this direction?

Like what happened? And you're like, I got, I got so caught up in the day to day, like doing a role and performing a role, um, that you kind of forget what success is. And if you're not,  Looking for a title for success, which I also don't feel, you know, being CEO or president or anything like that, that that's my definition of success that doesn't fit because I don't, I don't thrive for the titles.

I don't live for the titles, you know, or the stuff. Um,  so I think in order to have a more, yeah, like you said, a spiritual  Definition of success. That's, you know, love building more meaningful connection with people, um, finding an inner peace, like where, and when are you the most happy? Cause you know, life has its ups and downs and we go on a little roller coaster ride that we call life all the time.

Um, but if you can find a place. Within yourself. And even if it's, um,  I want to say not motivated. That's not the word. Um,  let's say you're in the middle of the mountains and you're experiencing just life out in the middle of nowhere. Like is that experience feeding into your inner peace?  Which then is your feeling of success?

Because if you're not after a title or money, which I know probably crazy idea, not wanting money to be part of our definition of success. Right. Um,  then I guess the other question people would ask is then what is your definition of success? So when you loop it back around to the inner peace part, um, and the meaningful connection,  I think there's a lot at play there that comes into how you feel  As a successful person, um, when you're kind of going against the norms, which we've kind of talked about in a couple or our last episode, um, the goal of our podcast is to, you know, work our way through some life things and we're working our way through some life things right now.

Like we've also said, we're not doctors, we're not any people with degrees. We're not here to tell you how to live your life or anything like that. Everyday 

people with everyday problems. 

With everyday jobs. Exactly. And we're, we're both very focused on working through where we currently are to achieve, um, the success that we want for ourselves.

Yes. So we've had to kind of dig deep a little bit. And define what success is to us, which has resulted in both of us having pretty much close to the same ideal  success path, um, that doesn't involve norms. 

Yeah. And, and I think, and I mean, I guess just to  carry on, I guess a little bit on my personal definition of success. Um, I personally don't think the success. Has an end goal has a deadline or you know what? You know what I mean? That's a very valid point I really I I don't think it does like think of it like this What sets your heart on fire? What really gets you going? You know what I mean 

camping!? 

And then chase that yeah chase that  And figure out a way to if it makes you feel good  in my mind, that's success Agreed that's there's that success right there You You know what I mean?

Yep. 

A lot of people struggle day in and day out just to feel good. You know what I mean? Yep. And they, they dream about feeling good. You know what I mean?  Whether it's physically, emotionally, mentally, whatever it may be. You know what I mean? They're constantly asking, man, when is it going to get better? What is this going to get good? 

How many times have you asked yourself that question? Exactly. When's it going to get better? Exactly. When am I going to get to where I want to be? 

I can't even count the amount of times I've asked myself that question. 

And you know what? You're just laying down the truth today. 

Yeah. Why put a definition or an end goal on what your success is?  I, and to go back to what I was saying a little bit earlier, um, I think when people are striving for the titles or a certain financial point or, um, position based success, like what happens when you get there? I was going to say, 

let's say you get to the top.

Let's say you're one of those few who actually get to the top. Right. Then what? Exactly. And are you  fulfilled? For the rest of your life,  

no,  exactly.  And then it gets complicated. I was reading a study last week, um, on people who have incredibly good lives and people who've like been through some shit and are wonderful brains that we have up here.

They're really good at no matter how good or how bad you are. Doing in life it will find a middle. Mm hmm. And are you gonna be happy in that middle?  You're probably gonna feel the same that you did before But we always find a middle ground no matter how good how bad so if you get to the top you reach your success You become CEO of the company and that's exactly what you're defining your success on you've basically hit  The goalpost you can't go any higher exactly.

Yeah, and so you're at the top you're living life. You're loving it You hit your success But if you're up here and you're going to come back to a middle,  what happens when you get to that middle, 

I mean, what goes up must come down, right? 

Yeah. And what are you going to chase next? Exactly. If you've already hit your definition of success, what are you going to strive for next? 

And I think a lot of people get stuck there.  I almost got stuck there. My, I had certain goals. I wanted to be an architect originally. Um,  And then you see what kind of competitive life that is. Um, I did some research and talked to some architects and a lot of them, they spent the rest of their career, if not most of their career, working for local home building companies, drying up cookie cutter homes.

Because again, competition, um, we've talked about it before. Like if everybody is going to school, getting the degrees, Aiming for it. And everybody's climbing the ladder. Not everybody's going to get there. So if your success is built around that definition of becoming that person at the top of the company and our favorite person, Philip takes it.

Good old Philip. Yeah. Like what, what does it leave you with?  So 

exactly. And I mean, then there's the guys who.  Have been there, not necessarily CEO, top of the company, but let's say there's guys that have been  foreman's and superintendents, consultants, whatever it might be,  and  they just stepped out.  They just stepped down  all that work they put to climb up the ladder.

They've realized. That's not what they want.  The amount of guys, I can't even tell you the amount of guys that I've talked to on these construction sites and that's their situation.  

Oh, even, even people in restaurants that I've met and I've known, they get to that GM level or they get to a point where they're managing multiple restaurants. 

And then it becomes incredibly repetitive. There's no fulfillment to it. Um, and I, I do believe, I haven't mentioned it yet, but personal fulfillment and your inner peace, uh, your meaningful connections, like all of that comes back to your sense of fulfillment. Right. And I think success, For me, for sure, it has to be based on how fulfilled I feel, on how I'm performing or helping other people.

Um, and you get stuck in jobs where, yeah, you climb to the top, and you're doing the menial tasks you're supposed to do, but there's no fulfillment to it. And I, I think that's, A part a lot of people miss is the fulfillment part and then when they get there, they realize, oh, well,  they maybe wrap it up in a little gift bag and say, oh, well, it wasn't for me. 

Maybe it was for you,  but you just weren't fulfilled.  I think something being for you and fulfillment. They can coexist at the same time. People have found it. There's people out there who love what they're doing, who love their jobs, who love the  climb, um, and all that fun stuff. And they find fulfillment in it, which is awesome, which is cool.

We need those people. Like, don't get me wrong. Doctors and lawyers and dentists. Like, I, I would like my dentist to appreciate what they're doing. But there's people out there like us,  who I think want to. Or I've always been told that they follow these paths, do these things. And then we try and follow those paths, but our fulfillment doesn't fit in with the career or the  direction with job we were supposed to go.

And then we're just kind of left on the sidelines, like. Okay, well, I was told to do this. 

Yeah, I did what I was supposed to. 

Yeah.  Why do I feel empty? Yeah. And it's because of a serious lack of fulfillment. Back to what you said. Chase what makes you feel good. If you can figure out how to follow something, whether it's, you know, being able to spend time out in the mountains, or camping, or fishing, or like, enjoying the nature.

Um, I think you mentioned traveling the world, seeing the world, like experiencing multiple cultures out there because there's so many of them. So many. Yeah. Like, I'm sure there's ways that you can do that,  but still lead a fulfilling life where you feel successful. Yeah. Outside of a traditional system, which is what we're here to discuss what we're about,  

but yeah, we're a boot.

It is what we're a boot. 

Happy Canada Day. Yeah, because this is, this will be the third episode. I think posted today. Whoops. Um, just as like a little, Hey, we're going to give you guys three episodes right away. Yeah. Um, so you have something to hold on to. Yeah. And listen to and be like, Hey, these guys are either very relatable Not at all.

But I mean, that's, that's the thing. This podcast is all about  creating discussion. So if you're listening long, I hope, you know, wherever you're watching it posted to, um, you're joining in, in the comments or, and maybe something will resonate with you. Maybe you feel like us where success,  you don't want it to be defined by, yeah, I'm a, I'm a doctor a lawyer when you meet new people for the first time or go to a house party or something What's the first question you could ask by people?

You don't know. 

What do you do?  

What do you do? And if you tell them something they're not expecting 

if you tell them something that's not quote unquote I guess respectable in today's society. Yep. Oh boy. 

Yeah. Oh boy. They leave and they're like, well I'm glad we were the most successful people right room.

Like what a loser No, but seriously, though, no, that's that's what how people are nowadays. 

But the funny thing is, is like we, the person that they're making fun of could leave the room and be the wealthiest person in that room. 

Oh, a hundred percent. 

Because they're chasing their own definition of success instead of one that was placed on them by friends, family, society, um,  which I just think is hilarious  because yeah, we so many of us. Are raised to also kind of judge those people that are like beating a different drum in life  But then you get to where we are and you're like, oh don't think I like beating that drum Yeah, I don't think I want to do the drum. Yeah, maybe I want to play the trumpet

Yeah. No, people always come up to you like life is some sort of checklist. You know what I mean? Mm-Hmm. It's like, what do you do? Yep. Do you have, do you own a home? Do you have a family? What do you drive? You know what I mean? But no one ever asks if you're happy. 

Yep. 

You know what I mean? No one ever asks you that question. Nope.  It's, 

or, or even if you do tell them like, oh yeah, I'm a, I'm a lawyer, or whatever, doctor,  again, they don't look at you and be like, are you happy with that?

No.  Because so many people feel attacked if they're asked that question where it's like, well, why wouldn't I be happy? I was told I should be happy. So I should be happy. Yeah,  but then you ask those questions and actually know what? I think the next time I go to  a place I don't know where it's gonna be But if I meet new people, I think I'm gonna ask them them Can you like are you happy  and see their reaction?

I bet most of them

 they're not gonna know what to say 

Or they'll be like, well,  am I supposed to be happy? Yeah, I'm, I'm, yeah, I have. 

They're gonna be like, what do you mean? What do you mean, am I happy? 

And if they do say they're happy, they'll probably run through the checklist. They'll be like, yeah, well, I got the degree, I just bought a house.

Oh, 100%. 

Like, we're doing this, and it's like, okay,  cool, you're living your life to a checklist. Yeah. Put on you by society. 

Right on, man. All the power to you. 

Yeah, I'm proud of you. You keep checking off that list,  which I mean, that's also a good point. So many people, they're literally just going through life, checking, 

checking off the list as they go.  

And what happens if you accomplish that list when you're young? 

Yeah,  

is there another list because I don't know in my 33 years of life. It's been the same standard list  graduate high school Mm hmm plan out your university go to university get the degree Yeah, hopefully you get the degree finished before you're 30, right?

Cuz if you don't finish before you're 30, oh boy. Nope, cuz then your 30s should be house. Yeah  family raising family  Prop Actually, to be honest, I think a lot of people expect it before 35. 

Oh, 100%, man. 

Like, before I turn and I'm 33, and I there's a lot of things following this list that I have not checked off.

Mm mm. 

So, to some people, I'd be a failure. 

No, in society's eyes I'm 28, okay? So, in society's eyes, I should have a set career. 

Yep. 

That I should be, you know, a good amount, a little bit up the ladder already at 28. 

Or if not graduating a master's program at 28. Exactly. 

I should, you know, already own a house. If not looking at owning the house, you know, I should  be looking at getting married. Yep. You know what I mean? Start thinking about a family. Yep. Um, because that's what  Like we said society's view of success is yep And I mean that's just been the norm for so many years now  that  when? People like us try to bring up topics like this in regards to  what is success to you Yeah, or how do you feel about success? You know, whatever it may be 

as soon as people bring it up because we're not really fitting with the norms, as soon as we tell them something that doesn't fit in with their checklist that we've all are expected to go through, we're labeled the failures for trying new things. 

And then we're looked down upon. They're like, oh, well, I guess you just want to live a selfish life where you don't give back. Yeah. No, no, no. I very much plan on living a fulfilling life where I give back to community and whether that's giving back physically by helping out in certain ways or having different businesses that give back or provide back  or even if it's like self, um, I don't want to say self help because it's not self help, but like helping people grow into like either themselves or leadership or stuff like that. Like I plan on giving back. And contributing. I just don't want to do it in the typical way, because if you do it the typical way, let's be honest, it's kind of selfish. 

By the time I'm 30, I'm going to have a house. By the time I'm 30, I'm going to have a family. By the time I'm 30, I'm going to have the white picket fence. Like, it's very They put it out there as to be successful. This is what you should have. But really it's incredibly selfish to go through that checklist because it's all about what you have, what you own, what possessions you have are in your possession to double up on words.

Um, the position you hold, like it's all about you as a person.  We meet a lot of these people when you go to, I don't know, backyard barbecues with your neighbors or events, or you work with different people. Um, and let's be real. Everybody's conversation. It's just about themselves  and there's, and then that gets perpetuated in social media.

And it's very, this is another point we made the other day when we were talking. Um, if we could take the amount of effort that we put out to self inflate ourselves and actually put it on working on ourselves, um, inner peace and fulfillment can be found, but so many people are trying to create this, what looks like a successful life on social media,  but in the background, It could be falling apart.

Exactly. 

And they don't want anybody to see that. Yeah. So they perpetuated,  they go through their checklist and  they, yeah, they avoid having meaningful connections because again, if you're not checking off that list and you're like, Hey, I don't think I'm doing so well right now, people are like, Oh, well, I guess you're a failure.

Yep,  

but it's 

you tell people or yeah, you tell some people nowadays that you don't want to work a regular nine to five for the rest of your life and they're like, Oh, you're lazy. You're just lazy. 

You're lazy. Instantly. Yeah, not even a second thought. It's like, Oh, well, clearly you're just being selfish.

Yeah, no, I just I think I could be doing something better with my time. Literally, I feel like I could take my time and be way more effective and feel fulfilled and have a successful life. Over filling someone's profit pockets. Yeah. 

Like, life is short enough as it is, you know what I mean? Who wants to spend all fucking day at work? 

For someone else. 

For someone else, at that. You're blood, sweat, and tears, you know what I mean? Yep, yep. For someone else. Yep. Not even for yourself. No. You know, some people think that, Oh yeah, I'm building character, you know, This is what makes me a man, this is  You know, I'm a tough guy and stuff like that, but Yep Are you really happy?

Are you happy? 

Like, are you happy portraying that? 

Yep And are I, are you actually working on building meaningful connections with people? Literally Yep.  Yeah, even in a podcast again by Simon Sinek. I love Simon Sinek. I  He is a great thought leader of our modern day  But it just comes back to like  are you learning how to be a good friend?

Yeah, because essentially sometimes, you know when your friends are going through it We're not here to fix your lives. But are we learning how to be You know, still be there for someone and sit with someone, um, as they're going through tough times to just be there, like so many people, because there's so many technology in front of our faces.

And I mean, basically you can contact anybody at any time, all the time.  Which, I mean, I have a problem sometimes and I'm like, you know what, maybe it's people need their space, but because we're always talking and always connected with people, I think a lot of people feel that if there's a moment of silence. Like, sometimes you can't just sit in a room, as your friend's going through a rough time, and just have there be silence. Like, there always has to be conversation, or something happening. Um, and sometimes  Nothing's more powerful than just sitting with someone. It really is. But it's hard. I mean, I've even found it hard sometimes to, you know, someone's having a tough time to just be in silence  because we're not used to it. When you can't place your success on a title, it, it's kind of hard to talk about.

Yeah. Um, because it, it's hard to explain a feeling to people, but I agree, like, achieving that sense of inner peace, and being able to create meaningful connections with people, and feeling fulfilled in that middle ground. Right. Because no matter how good you have it or how bad you have it, you're gonna come back to the middle.

So I hope you're feeling fulfilled there. Um, and that, that's hard to tell people. It is. 

It really is hard to tell people. 

Cause they, they don't understand it. And then, yeah, as we've discussed, you're either labeled as a failure, or people are like, okay, well they're going nowhere with their lives. Yeah. Because we're not self centered. 

Mm hmm.  

Which kind of sounds funny because we're focusing on self fulfillment, but not in a very, 

but not in a selfish way, 

by no means have we reached our definition of success. So don't think we're sitting here telling you how to reach that,  which I think is the fun part of this podcast. Cause we're just two guys growing through life right now, trying to figure certain things out. And like we said we just want to have open discussions and we just want to discuss how we're feeling.  When it comes to mental fitness cause clearly we have different views in some people.  So we want to put our views out there.  Our definition of success is different than the traditional. So again, we're just two guys growing through it and navigating through it. it's important  because there's other people out there who feel the same.

Mm hmm. They don't want that checklist. No, they don't. And we want to provide a space.  

It's right here. 

Come on. It is right here. Hello. Hi.  We're chillin.

But yeah I mean, I don't, uh, I just, I don't understand the emphasis, you know, some of these guys  they're just like,  you're not fulfilled if you don't work 10 to 12 hours a day. 

You're not fulfilled.  You're lazy. You're a failure. And I mean,  I just don't understand what kind of fulfillment you get from putting your body through that, like, 60 hours a week.  You know what I mean? Like, does it make you feel good to stand up out of your chair and be sore? Fucking everywhere. You know what I mean? Does it make you feel good to, you know, slap up this drywall and screw it in?  Does that make you feel like a man?  

Every day on repeat, continually. 

Literally, 

every 

day on repeat. For 10 to 

12 hours. That's 

just 60 hours a week.  You know, framing, drywall, maybe a little insulation and taping here and there when all that shit's up. Yeah. But, you know, they say it's for money.  But, do you know how much these guys fucking make?  

Not as much as the people lining their profit pockets. Literally. 

Right. 

And I mean, I'm not sure I want to. It sounds miserable. It sounds grueling. 

Well, especially once you get to a certain point, um, Cause, you know, I definitely think  When it comes to figuring out your success and what it looks like, like you have to go through the hard years. You have to go through the life experience.

Oh, absolutely. From absolutely. 

Yeah. Graduating high school to I would easily say college. Midway 20s late 20s because I would 

say like easily 26 27 Yeah before males anyway start to get their shit together 

for real I didn't really figure out where I wanted to go in my life till I was 29. Yeah, and then kovat happened So now we're getting back on the path that we wanted to um, but I didn't figure it out till 29 and You know what? It's healthy. It's healthy to go through the younger years. Oh, absolutely. You have to. Yeah. And, and build the experience. Like I see some people on Instagram and you know what? I appreciate people putting out a positive message. We live in a world where there's a lot of negativity. So it's nice to see positivity.

But I see some 18 year olds giving advice on like, oh yeah, like you're 18 now, like you can be this successful by the time you're 22 if you do this, this and this. I remember back to what I was like at 18, even 22. I'm like, oh no, no, no, no. I knew  that I knew everything when I was 18.  Even at 22,  I thought I knew everything. And then I woke up at 28 and realized I know nothing.  And it's hard for a lot of people, but you have to go through those experience years. And this is why I can confidently sit here now and be like, my definition of success is to have the time. To do what I want to do, but still feel fulfilled by giving back to my community.

Yeah, that's my definition of success. And it took almost 12 years to figure it out. Cause I 

mean, you and I have both been through some shit. Yeah. We've been through some shit, man. Life experience is important. Exactly. And that shit  is what helps. You become who you're supposed to be. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like you you have to experience those trials and tribulations. Yep in my mind. You just have to yeah Otherwise you're going into life totally blind 

totally blind 

You know what? I 

mean, and then you get these kids with life experience life experiences and they're like, well this happened So I'm just you know  I'm just going to throw in the towel and this didn't move as fast as I wanted it to. So I'm just going to move back home and you know, shit happens if you have to move back home because things happen, cool, whatever. It's the people that give up because it didn't go the way they wanted to that just give up that that's not life experience. That's you being  whiny and complaining and just throwing in the towel because you didn't want to go through the hard times and the hard times are important.

They're super important. And then I think where we are right now. Is we're at that point where after the hard times, you have a decision. You can either continue doing what you're doing and stay in that career,  doing the day in day out. Like you said, the guys that work 10 hours that think that's fulfillment, you can choose to do that on path a, or once you've gone through the life experience and you're like, you know what?

I think I know who I want to be as a person, which is where we're approaching. Um, You can go path B and be like, no, I want my life to have fulfillment, to have a meaning that's not the experiences I've gone through. I'm going to use those experiences to create the next 15 20 years of my life, but I'm not putting on repeat the last 12 years or even the last two or the last three years.

Hell no. I'm not, I'm not going to repeat that because someone said it's what people typically do.  And, and I think that's the path A path choice. Yeah, once you've gone through the life experiences, you, you choose a direction. 

Yeah. I mean, like I said to you at one point, I think this is like my third or fourth, you know, career that I've put myself in.

And it comes to a point where you realize  in that  certain career that you're in at that time that,  you know what?  Maybe I'm not meant for career life.  

Especially typical, like you're nine to five, get this job, do this. Yeah, not your typical career. 

And don't get me wrong. There was a point in time where. People didn't have that option. 

Yep. 

You know what I mean? But nowadays  There's unlimited. Yep options to get you out of career life 

Oh, and I mean the career life in the world we live in has changed so much  Again this episode. I'm just gonna talk about Simon Sinek a lot  He's brought up multiple times through many things.

He's talked about like the 1960s 70s Ideal capitalism is not what we have today and it's because big companies have gotten used to like using layoffs To promote their profits and to fill their profits. Like layoffs once upon a time used to be like, Hey, we're going to lose our company unless we lay people off.

Nowadays, companies lay people off because, Oh, we're not making 200  million this year, we're only making 150. So if we get rid of a third of our workforce. There's that deficit. We'll make that up. Yeah, and then going back to the people who built their success on Oh, i'm gonna have this job at this level the amount of people I know who've been laid off Yeah for no fault of their own just because the company couldn't support it And their whole definition of success was wrapped into like getting the next step up at their job.

Yeah, and then it's just gone It's just going for a company to line their profit pockets. Yeah. TM. TM. But, and, and then, yeah, these people  who fought all this time and spent all these hours, like you said, um, just working away, like putting in the hours, it's just taken and it's gone. Yeah. And then they have nothing left  and then their success is gone.

Yeah.  

Which again, I think comes back to, you get to a point, you go through the life experience, and you have the choice. Path A, keep doing what you're doing on repeat, and climb the ladder. Or Path B, take your life experiences,  and find a way to make them mean something, or help people. Um, give back, and go on a different path.

Mhmm. 

The problem is, as we discussed a  couple, few minutes ago,  if you choose Path B,  People will think you're either lazy or you're a failure because it's not the way that most people go  and that's success. 

And I mean, I feel like that mindset will get phased out eventually as generations get older. Oh, totally. Um, but it's just at this point in time,  uh, it's rather taboo frowned upon to kind of just go and  work for yourself and do your own thing and contribute back that way rather than  Like we've been saying like mainstream career way  

and we're here is two guys to say that that's okay. 

That's totally. Okay.

We're going through that. We're growing through that. Yeah, I think that's my favorite phrase growing through something because I mean, that's kind of what the human experience is, right? Yeah, absolutely. Evolving and yeah. Trying to be better instead of just slapping mud on a wall for 10 hours a day and saying the good old phrase like this.

I've always been so it's just how I am. 

Yeah. 

You're like, okay, cool.  I'm so proud for you. Yeah. Um,  yeah. So I hope through this podcast, people can grow with us.  We're on the adventure. I mean life. Yeah, it should be an adventure. If you're not always  going through something, there'll be good times. There'll be bad times.

Like we said, no matter what, you're going to find a middle ground. It's going to be good. Sometimes it's going to be bad, but  I mean, finding that inner peace and that fulfillment in the middle ground, I think is super important. 

Yeah.  

I mean, come on. Oh, it's going to be a roller coaster. Yeah. Take it through two guys going, growing through it right now.

I had a moment a few weeks ago  I was at work and I was just thinking about the fact that  I might have to do this For the next 30 some years of my life if I'm even able to retire 

that you know what? I mean? You just hit two nails on the head right there. Yeah That's what I'm saying, you know, and  my heart just sunk.  It sunk right down to my stomach because it was like, I literally started dreading the next 30 some years of my life. Yeah. And I'm like, you know what? No, that's not how it's going to be. 

No, and I mean, we mentioned it.  You're 28. I'm 33. There's a little bit of an age gap between us. Um, and I can definitely say  getting into my thirties, my thirties have been the best part of my life so far because everything That I'm aiming to do and all my goals are based on my life experiences, and I want to keep, I want to keep having life experiences, I want to keep experiencing new things, and I, yeah, you shouldn't, I don't think you should get to a point where you look at the next 20, 30 years of your life and dread it.

Yeah, exactly. And, and that's one of my biggest, Big fears, to be honest. And why I think I want, or my definition of success is different because based on what I've lived through so far, I feel like I'm living my best life right now. So if I can continue to take those experiences and make new experiences, I think the next 30 years taking me up to when I'm 60 can be very exciting.

Oh, exactly.  

Very exciting. 100%. And like, yeah, that is a scary thought to sit here and be like, I'm going to do this for the next 20 years and literally preemptively dread your life  up to your 60s.  How many people do you think do that?  If people were honest with themselves. Let's be honest. 

Let's be honest. 

How many people do you think do that? And, but they don't talk about it. Yeah. Because again, we've, we've talked about this. People don't talk about things because you're either unsuccessful or you don't have the support groups because you haven't taken the time. But yet so many people are dreading their next two decades of life.

Mm hmm. With no one to talk to. Yeah. You want to talk about mental fitness and why people go through midlife crises? I think this is a part of that big problem. Oh, a hundred percent. Cause on the surface it's all beautiful. It's all the checklist. Did they have everything they need?  They have nobody to talk to.

They're dreading their next two decades.  But they can't admit that. Nope. Because then they're giving in to the failure side. Exactly.  Success,  I think it's a funky thing to talk about right now. It is. We've defined that our definition of it is different than what a lot of people I think or people who are willing to discuss it might have different plans or different views on it. Um, like we said, we're here to  Tell you guys that you're not alone if you're feeling like your definition of success is different.

Welcome Let's go through this together. Howdy. Yep, and who knows in two years We might look back on this episode and if our success has changed.  I hope it's for the better. Me too 

Yeah, I really do. Yeah  Well, you know, that's uh,  I guess where we're gonna wrap it up here  Yep, we did a lot of talking about success. We did and what it means to us You And I guess the ideologies of modern day society's success and  

yeah. And please, like we  want this podcast to become a discussion space. It's not just the two of us sitting here being like, yeah, this is our views of the world. No, we're, we're talking about things. 

Get in the comments, have a conversation, express yourself, tell us your thoughts. You know what? We want to hear it all. 

Yeah. Cause we've, before we started this podcast, these are the kinds of conversations that we were having. Yeah. I've had these kinds of conversations with other people. You've had them. So clearly there's people out there who feel this way. 

We want to know who you are.

Yeah. You're getting to know us. You now know our names, uh, where we live. If you've watched all our episodes so far. Yeah. Um, and now how old we are. Yeah.  All right. So yeah. Come along for the journey. We want to have an honest discussion on how  other people feel about success and what success can be by different definitions. 

Yeah, because, you know, obviously there's more than one definition of success.  There, there really is. You know, tell us your thoughts on success, what it is to you, how you feel about it, um, and if you're feeling any pressures, you know what I mean from society or your parents or your friends or anything like that, you know, it's, I just want to reiterate that it's important to, um, keep your own identity. You know, don't let it get mixed up with, like I just said, your parents, societies, friends, whoever it may be,  and stay true to it. You know what I mean? If you have your own definition of success that doesn't correlate with anyone else around you, that's fine.

Yep. Chase it. Yep. Go find 

it. Maybe you'll stumble upon a podcast where people are talking about exactly that. Exactly. Where the success you feel for yourself is not what your parents expected your success to be when you grow up. Exactly. And I think it, I think it's important in a day and an age where things can feel so separated, um, that you can find people that feel the same.

Yep. There's a lot of people going through a lot of struggles, uh, mental fitness, mental health, uh, whichever way you want to look at it. And people need, I think, honest discussions.  So please, yeah, like, like we've said, join us, put it in the comments. Let's talk about it. Our goal here is to build a little community. 

Oh yeah, for sure. 

And that that's definitely the goal. 

Yeah. 

Yeah. 

Anyway guys, thanks for tuning in. Yep  Tune in next week, you know, yep. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time and  Thanks for watching. Yeah.  

Bye. Bye