MEN-tal Health, The Dichotomy of Emotional Well Being - EP12

MEN-tal Health, The Dichotomy of Emotional Well Being - EP12
In this raw and candid episode, we dive deep into the often unspoken emotional battles that men face every day. Picking up from Part One, we explore the dangerous spiral of suppressing emotions, the role of addiction as a quick fix, and the toll it takes on mental well-being. From fake social media accounts to extreme behavior fueled by isolation and guilt, we unpack the real-world consequences of unchecked emotions.

Join us as we discuss the complex relationship between addiction and mental health, the importance of self-care, and why vulnerability can be a powerful step toward healing. This conversation sheds light on the harsh realities many men endure in silence—and how we can begin to break the cycle.

Tune in for a heartfelt discussion on breaking the silence, the hidden battles behind addiction, and how taking small steps can lead to big changes in emotional health. It’s time to start talking.

Don't forget to share this important episode with friends, family, or anyone who might need to hear these words. Your mental health matters.

Transcript

I've found through personal experience, sure you suppress them for a little while, but once everything clears, those emotions, they come back. Yes, they do. But they come back worse. Worse. Way worse. You feel them even harder. 

Yep. 

You know, you just don't feel yourself anymore, and you start to exhibit some  pretty extreme behavior.

Mm 

hmm. Fake shadow accounts. Yeah, just to hate on other people. Mm hmm while you're sitting at home. 

It's crazy I think I'm pretty sure I told you about this, but I follow this guy on Facebook. 

 Hey, man, 

what's up 

going on? 

Nothing. How are you? 

I'm good. You know, it's good part two part two of our mental health Series. 

Yes. Men Total Health. Yeah. So if you haven't watched part one on the Silent Struggle for Get on It,  go check that out. Uh, let's dive into part two, 

emotional wellbeing. Yeah. You know, super important in regards to.

How you live your day to day life, you know, because if you're happy and you're laughing and you live in life And you know, it's easier to go out into the world and get stuff done Yep, you know what? I mean, but if you're feeling those negative emotions sadness anger confusion, whatever it may be frustration It's a lot harder to push yourself to go out into the world and get things done and be successful Because, as I said in the previous episode, a lot of those emotions drain all your energy.

Totally. It's gone. You know, especially if you're feeling it all day long. Mm hmm. Because I know from personal experience, like having days like that where you're just going through these negative emotions all day long. Which is important because you need to process as well. Totally, yep. But, um, you get home after working all day and just being in your head all day, experiencing these things, and you're just exhausted.

You have no energy to cook supper or to shower or brush your teeth or anything like that. You just want to lay in bed. Yep. You know what I mean? And then, That's where it becomes a snowball effect because eventually going home after work and laying in bed because you can't push yourself to go out becomes a habit.

Isolation kicks in. A lot of other things. Um, one of those, you know, is huge nowadays more than ever, I think. Addiction. 

Yep. You go through your little silent struggles and you feel alone as we talked about. In part one it gets to a point where you're like, I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore.

So What better way to turn than to something that suppresses or helps suppress? Exactly those feelings gives 

you that temporary dopamine that temporary happiness. Yep But then the consequences are often much worse the next day, all that extra dopamine, all that extra happiness, you know, it has to, has to be paid for, obviously, the body needs to be able to recover itself after, you know, whatever you put it through.

And so often the day after, you know, either a binge or just a night of doing drugs or whatever addiction you may have, the next day is often full of, you know, Guilt, depression, anxiety, asking yourself. Why did I do that again? Yep. Why did I do this again? Why do I continue to do this? Why can't I just stop?

Yep. Yeah, it's it's really it's just all a vicious 

cycle Especially if you feel like you can't talk to anybody about it because you're already going down the path So alone. Yeah, and then yeah, you're just using substances To fill voids. Yeah. And, yeah, like, have those temporary moments where you're like, No, I'm good, I'm happy.

You suppress the feelings for a little while, but, I've found through personal experience, Sure, you suppress them for a little while, But once everything clears, Those emotions, they come back. Yes, they do. But they come back worse. Worse. Way worse. You feel it even harder. Yep. Yep. And then, what do you do the next day?

Or a couple days later? Even more to push it down even more, but then guess 

what? It comes back even worse. That's what I mean when I said it's a vicious cycle, man. It's just once you get into I guess the Era of addiction or whatever you want to call it. It's hard to break  It's very hard to break And I mean, it sucks because a lot of people, like you said, only turn to these things because they feel like they have nowhere else to go.

Yeah. They feel like they have no one else to talk to about these things, so they do them because like, you know, well, if I do these, I feel great. And if I feel great, I don't need to talk to anyone about anything. Exactly. You know what I mean? I don't feel these emotions. Oh, awesome. I just found like a quick cure to my depression and anxiety and all my problems.

And all of that. 

And all of that. 

Yeah. It's hard, and I've been, I've watched people go down it. I've never Personally gone too deep down an addiction rabbit hole, but I mean I've seen people Go through it and yeah, you see them in their highs their lows It gets to a point where like you want to help but sometimes that's not the easiest because sometimes 

that's actually worse Yeah, it's actually because it's enabling right?

Yeah, you're enabling their addiction. You're enabling them to Go and get their drugs via giving them money or You Going to buy it for them or whatever it may be. You know what I mean? Have you ever seen the show Intervention? Yeah on A& E. Yep. Have you seen, you know, some of those Addicts or whatever and their family just enables the shit out of it.

Oh, you know what I mean? Like here Yeah, you can stay in my basement while you smoke your life away. Yep You know what I mean? Like and that can be said 

about so many addictions. Mm hmm I get it when when you care for someone and you love someone obviously you want the best for them You So if they're not happy, you're, you're gonna, most people will try and help fix, but unfortunately the fix is very much enablement.

And that just breeds a whole slew of other issues. Oh yeah. That just 

breeds a whole nother monster, man. Yeah. Whole other monster, especially if you are like an active addict and you pick up On the enabling by whoever surrounds you, like, 110 percent as an addict, you will take advantage of that. Like, there's no question about it.

You can say to yourself, No, I don't think I would. But, if you haven't experienced it, I'm telling you right now, yeah, you fucking will. Like,  

Well, I mean, that's the crazy thing, like,  Once your brain gets addicted to something, No matter how much willpower you think you have sometimes, 

It's not enough. 

It's not enough.

Yeah. You think, yeah, no, I'd never do that. I never ask people for that. If there's something that your brain's missing that it wants, and you've become addicted to a type of substance,  Or many substances. You will ask things of friends and family that you never thought you would. And that's, that's the scary part of addiction.

Sometimes you don't even ask, you just take. Yep. Especially when you're that deep into addiction, you know what I mean? It's not a good time. 

No, it's not a good 

time. But I mean, those, a lot of the people actively in addiction, you know, as we have been talking about, are also struggling mentally. You know what I mean?

And that's probably majority of what drove them to this addiction. Don't get me wrong, some people are out there just addicted to drugs because they want to be. Totally. You know? Totally. But there are the people out there that are in that position because of how they felt. Yep. You know, they felt alone.

Drugs became that shoulder, obviously, and now they are stuck. They were just looking for an outlet. They were just looking for some form of relief for just a little bit, and unfortunately 

Nowadays, it's pretty easy, I think, for people to fall into that trap, unfortunately, because of how prevalent, you know, phones and social media are.

Everybody's so busy. And 

I mean, people frickin advertise drugs on Facebook Marketplace, dude. 

Yeah, social media, like, I've been, I've noticed more and more, even on Instagram, there are so many things pulling your direction and feeding addiction on every single platform, that I'm not surprised that some people wind up in the places that they do.

Mhm. Like, Seriously, the fact that it's become so common is, it just blows my mind, man. Mhm. Mhm. Right. It just blows my mind. 

Or even the fact that certain rules and terms and conditions are put on platforms, but people have been able to figure out a way around those terms and conditions to not get their platforms taken down and still basically advertise whatever they're advertising, which is all feeding into people's addiction.

Yeah. There's just  so many. Ways for one to obtain drugs if need be. You know what I mean? It's, it's crazy. They're all over the place. Yeah. They're in your face everywhere you look. Yep. So 

many people, because of either feeling lonely, um, or going through hard mental times, like, there's more addictions out there than substances.

Right, right. Like, on the other side, porn addictions are becoming a huge thing these days. So many people are honestly saying, just fuck it. And starting, like, Only fans accounts and all these other fans. The accounts are the thing I'm noticing, especially on a lot of platforms is like they are flexing the terms and conditions so much that they can't really get banned, but yet they're clearly advertising for these platforms.

Like the amount of times I'm just scrolling through my Instagram and I keep my Instagram  as best as I possibly can. Like if there's posts that I don't like, I'll flag them.  I don't want to see them or stuff so the things I have interests in hopefully the algorithm You know weeds those out right, but every now and then  it will show either  females or males Clearly in a state that is incredibly suggestive and at the bottom.

It's just like oh check out my only fans 

Oh that kind of stuff, you know eventually You get to a point where, you know, you just don't feel yourself anymore and you start to exhibit some  pretty extreme behavior. Mm-Hmm. , you know? Yeah. You're gonna start to do things that you as a person wouldn't normally do if you weren't under the influence.

Yeah. Like sitting at home, just so mad about the world around you that.  You go and create fake shadow accounts just to hate on other people  while you're sitting at home. 

It's crazy. I think I, I'm pretty sure I told you about this, but I follow this guy on Facebook and he's a big men's mental health advocate for guys in like blue collar work.

Yeah. And across all his platforms, he has like close to half a million followers or something like that. Some guy actually created an account on one of the platforms. To like, dig this guy. And I just, I don't understand. Like, what is the point of that? Making an entirely new profile just to To fucking beat this guy.

I don't understand that, man. Like, in my mind, grown men don't put other grown men down. Right? Like, are we still in fucking high school?  

It feels like it some days. It really does. 

Like, grow the fuck up, 

man. I mean, we even  talked about it last episode, for the first part of this, and even now with emotional well being, like, what is the point of Of doing that.

Like there's so many, and thinking mental health is just this complete joke. Yeah. Like, the fact that someone would go through the effort to create a fake account or other accounts just to like, try and tear someone down, who is talking about subjects that are real to a lot of us. Mm 

hmm. 

If, if that isn't a perfect example of where men's mental health is for a lot  of guys right now.

Yeah. 

I don't know what would be. Like the fact that  he had to tear down mental health and make fun of this guy or even Yeah, drag whatever he's saying  on his accounts just to make himself feel better like that. That's that's a silent struggle Literally poor emotional 100 man. This 

guy is doing these videos on these accounts to Build these guys back up.

Yeah create awareness about  the severity of men's mental health and the trades Yeah, because it is not Fucking good, man. These guys are dropping like flies. It's unreal. The other one is literally just laughing at him. Making a fucking joke about it. Like, ha ha ha, you're a loser. Yep. Meanwhile, he's creating awareness on, you know.

The overall  general men's mental health topic, uh, suicide rates, um, you know, things that men currently in the trades are going through and probably have been for quite some time, but it might be at some kind of peak right now or something. And yeah, he's just tearing them down. Like, just tearing them up for no reason, man.

Which is ridiculous. And  sure, a lot of people can, I hate when you talk to slightly older generations and stuff and they're like, Oh, people never had this many emotions back in my day. Yeah. Yeah, they did. Yes, they did. Yeah, they did. Guess what? We're a lot more connected now. Yeah. So, also thanks phones. So I guess they're good for something.

But, there's so much more connection nowadays that we just see it more. Yeah. It's not that it never existed. It's just maybe for years, you know, if you have a group of friends and you try and bring it up and they're all like, no, that's stupid. You're not going to talk about it again. No, you're 

never going to bring it up ever again.

Yeah. Cause you 

feel alone and like no one's there for you. But now that there's so much connection, um, people can make so many more connections. Like we're becoming aware that there are some serious issues out there. And a lot of us are going through issues that we always have, but  we're a lot more in tune with like, okay, there's More than just myself.

And, okay, maybe my friends don't feel this, or at least my friends aren't vocalizing that they feel this way, but clearly we're feeling this way. 

Yeah, clearly, yeah. 

Yeah,  and I think,  I think that's the important part, is more people bringing awareness to it. 

Yeah. Like the first week of one of my first job sites, when I got into construction, um,  one of the first things the foreman said to me, they were talking about mental health or whatever on lunch break or something, and he looks at me and he's like, yeah, we think mental health is a joke, and we don't really give a fuck what you think. 

Those are the words that literally left his mouth, like, we don't give a fuck what you think. And I was like, okay, cool. That's wonderful. Good for you. But I mean, it's just like, exhibit A. 

And the fact to even like,  feel the need to point that out.  Like, oh, just so you know, like, we don't take any of this serious.

It's all kind of bullshit.  You're like, oh,  okay. Right. That's healthy. Literally. I seen a video the other day that kind of hit home. Um, and it was this person talking about, you know, being a millennial, what it's felt like, and he went to school, he got the degrees. Um, he had, I think he just finished.  Um,  pretty sure and he was working in his field for like two, three years and he quickly came to the realization like, this is not what I want to be doing and he's like, I feel like I'm part of a generation that was told  grow up, go to school, get the education, get the job, you'll be set.

Yep. 

And he's 100%. 

Yeah. And he's 

like. I did all that. I have zero fulfillment. I don't feel  like as a person. I'm actually listened to And he's like we're part of the first generation that is realizing That we are told to do certain things to grow up and have a great life Unfortunately with how the world is and the way it is 

doesn't work 

anymore.

It doesn't work.  And it, and it's almost like we were lied to.  Not really a lie though. It just, it's not the way things have turned out. Mm-Hmm.  , which has led a lot of people to, um, poor mental states because we put ourselves through so much stress Mm-Hmm. to try and get the things that we were told that is if we do X, Y, Z, we will get the result we want.

Yeah. 

And that is not happening.  Nope. And people are becoming more aware about it, and we're talking about it,  and this whole discussion, even on mental health, is becoming more apparent. 

Yeah. 

And all you hear is, well, you know, put your head down and you'll be fine.  Like, no, we've tried that. We've tried that.

That's been done, my friend. Yep.  And then you have people on the other side, they're like, Oh, well, I put my head down just, and they make the fake accounts and they tear the ones down trying to, you know, put some of these pieces back together and almost shush out the conversation.  Which I think is some pretty extreme behavior.

It is some pretty extreme behavior. Like, to go through the effort to create fake accounts to tear others down.  Got some issues. Yeah. You need to work out. Prime example. Seriously.  And then, unfortunately on the flip side, there's so many people that they see those accounts, or they see, you know, people going through the effort to tear down others, and they don't want to be vulnerable with anybody.

Cuz the last thing anybody wants to do at the end of the day is get torn apart. Exactly. For how they feel. 

Just take care of yourself.  That's just one baby step towards getting better. You know what I mean? Even if it's just as much as making sure you brush your teeth before you go to bed. Or making sure you shower when you get home from work. 

Or, you know, just doing a small load of laundry just to get some done, at least. You know what I mean?  

Don't listen to all the people who knock it and say it's stupid there. There is a lot of people out there  Believe in it. We believe in it. 

Mm hmm. Everyone has this shit that they're going 

through 

Yep, takes five seconds to be a nice guy.

Yep 

And I think there's a lot more people out there that believe mental health is way more important than those who  Say it's not. 

Yeah.  

Those people are hard to find sometimes, but that's what we're here for. That's what we're here for. And that's a message we'd like to spread. Yeah. 

Be kind. What he said.

Rewind. Thanks for tuning in. Yeah. I hope you tune in again next week.  Yeah.  

Like, share, subscribe, tell your mom about it.  All of it. 

Yeah, all of it. Spread  it around. 

Yeah.  

Go stand in a grocery store and  hand out flyers. Have you heard this podcast?  

Cause that's what I do. Yeah, 

me too. Oh yeah, that's what we both do, man.

Have you been listening?  

Yeah, we're those guys on the side of the street with the megaphone and the sign.  Have you heard the word? Have you heard the good word?  How fun would that be?  We'd just get eggs thrown at us. Shut up.  

Never. 

Alright guys, we'll talk to you later. Talk to you later. Have a good week.

Goodbye. Bye.