Breaking the Silence: Men's Mental Health - EP13

Breaking the Silence: Men's Mental Health - EP13
*This episode contains discussion about mental health and suicide, listener discretion is advised*

In this powerful episode, we wrap up our special three-part series dedicated to raising awareness about men's mental health during Suicide Prevention Month. As we dive deep into the alarming statistics, we reflect on the stigma surrounding men's mental health and how cultural norms have perpetuated silence and isolation. The numbers are devastating—while more women attempt suicide, men are three times more likely to die by suicide, with little change over the past two decades.

We discuss the societal pressures men face, including the harmful narratives that discourage vulnerability, and the environments that prevent men from seeking help. We break down the barriers that have silenced so many, advocating for compassion, open dialogue, and support. By understanding the stats and recognizing the pain so many endure, we hope to encourage our listeners to reach out—to be better friends, better listeners, and part of a movement that brings mental health conversations into the light.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please check the resources we've shared in the episode description. Let's continue breaking the silence together.

9-8-8: Suicide Crisis Helpline
https://988.ca/

Transcript

 Yeah. And if you haven't watched the last two before you watch this one, usually we don't do it this way, but before this episode, you should probably go watch the past two is this whole trilogy all adds up together for this month. Yeah, the month of September, which is suicide prevention month. Exactly. Yes Which is why we decided to do three special episodes mostly pertaining towards men's mental health. Yes Yeah, it's almost an epidemic. It is almost an epidemic. Yeah, you know, we were Cory and I were looking over the stats and It is devastating Yeah. It's so sad, man. Like, I knew the statistics were high in a couple fields, but I didn't realize how bad they actually are. Seriously, though. Like, if you guys haven't ever truly looked at the stats, and I know it's kind of, like, dark to look at suicidal stats. Yeah. But, At the same time, do it. Like, I think you guys will be truly shocked. Mm hmm. I mean, I was. Like, in regards to the state of what is happening right now. In both genders, not even just men. Yep. But, um, you know, there are, there is a bigger percentage of men over women that actually, like you said, succeed with Yeah. Taking their own life. Yep. And it's, it's quite sad. So even though we're about to wrap up the month of September and move on to another month, honestly, I think it's very important to keep in the back of our minds, like, how many people out there are struggling with mental health and just trying to get through every day and who are having, like, real problems? That maybe just need someone to reach out literally and are actually being driven to Yeah, end it. It's so sad. It is so sad and these people are going through absolutely Excruciating emotional pain. Yep through this, you know what I mean? And we've talked about it in other episodes, but there's still people out there who think it's a complete and total joke Yep, utter nonsense Not real doesn't make sense. It just doesn't no and that's that's what honestly baffles me I think if you guys like truly look at these stats, I think maybe you'll understand where i'm coming from here Yeah, and not only that but when we took time to look at the stats like we Gathered some numbers that are from 2000 to 2022. Yes. So within the last two decades And as shocking as they are, unfortunately, they're pretty stable. Like you have the same average every year. Um, but yeah, yeah. There's so many people out there. They're like, Oh, I don't know why mental health is becoming such a big thing these days and blah, blah, blah, blah. Like the numbers have always been there. It's now that we're bringing light to This is actually what's happening and like we need to take this stuff seriously Yeah, and I mean like getting more detailed I guess into the statistic side of things Um, you were mentioning from you know between 2000 and 2022 Throughout a hundred thousand males and a hundred thousand females, um, eighteen actually succeeded in taking their lives, whereas five females succeeded in taking their lives. And, I mean, I'm not talking down on female mental health whatsoever, or anything like that, you know what I mean? But, Clearly, there is a more significant amount of males that are actually, I don't want to say following through, because that's kind of wrong. It sounds sad. Exactly. But are actually killing themselves. Yep. You know, it's, you can't really Get around the term, you know what I mean? It's a dark term, but it's it's what's happening Yeah, just to wrap this month up in these last three episodes this this episode We're we're calling breaking the silence and we're just we want to discuss this the statistics Obviously, there's a statistics for canada as we live here But yeah, we just want to you know, continue to be a voice that breaks the silence around this Because it's it's clearly been going on with the same average numbers for a very long time. Yeah Um But I think people need to, like, we need to talk about it. It needs to become real. Just going back to what you were saying about average 18 in 100, 000 males, the crazy thing about that stat also, and going back to, um, the female side of it, this one statistic I looked up said females attempt two times more than men. You've doubled the amount of females attempting it, but three times the amount of males are succeeding compared to females. Succeeding definitely is the wrong term there, but three times more males are actually following through, which means even though they're a lower number attempting it, the outcome is much higher and that's been consistent from 2000 to 2022. And that's, that's the most recent stat can stat that I. pulled up is yeah, anywhere from about 14 to 18. 18 definitely averaged since 2018 every year out of a hundred thousand males. 18 will take their lives. Like how, how, how are we here? How do we continue to be here? Yeah. No, I mean, it's a good question, man. It's obviously a good majority of the male population on the planet are truly going through something totally, truly going through something. And we talked about it in the first 2 episodes, but a lot of it. You know, like we said, comes from, you know, the environment they were raised in, the people they were raised around, the current environment they're in now, you know, um, a lot of these environments set restrictions on what you can do as a man, you know, emotionally, physically, whatever it may be, take it like a man, buck up, deal with it, grow up, you know, men don't cry, like facts, the fact that, Other men are going around telling other men that it's not okay to talk about their problems. Yep. Absolutely blows my mind. Yep. Like, why? Why? Because it makes you a sissy or a wimp or Right. Like, what is the point of that? That's something I truly don't understand. Um, and maybe it's just because that's not my way of thinking. You know what I mean? Just why? What are they getting from that? Especially in a world where, you know, I feel like the last two decades, there's a lot of things that have happened in the world. Every decade always has something that happens. And you'd think that, you know, you'd want to be there for each other and like, pull closer together and like, You'd think. Yeah, like we're in 2024. The fact that some people. Still can walk onto a job site and be like, we don't talk about mental health here. That's a joke. You're like, what? Yeah, like the statistics haven't changed for two decades literally should we not start talking about these situations and like Taking this seriously. Yeah. Yeah. No, you'd think something would change Yeah amongst the trades in general and they're one of the hardest hit industries right now. Yep Oh yeah, man, guys are dropping like flies. It's so sad. Like, I was watching this video, I don't know, I think I've mentioned it before to you, or on a podcast, I can't remember. I was watching this video, this guy was being interviewed about suicide and depression. And the interviewer asked him, what's, what's your feelings on? And he's like, Oh, you know, I think it's, I think it's rampant. I think it's a disease. You know, I've lost too many good buddies to this bullshit and I can't see it happen anymore. Yeah. Like he was saying, he had just lost one recently before this interview. When you see a guy like that starting to tear up because he's lost multiple buddies to suicide. Yeah. So sad. It is sad, man. Yep. It is sad. It's yeah, it's unreal. And it really makes you think, or I think it should make you think. I think so too. About your actions and how you treat other people and not even just in the workplace, but just in general. Yeah. But yeah, I don't know, man. It's, it's not good. It's yeah. No, it's quite sad. Even, even myself. And this is the thing, like, until you look at the statistics, like I wasn't even aware of how bad it is. Like you hear it. You know, it's tough times and like the numbers are pretty high, right? Um, I've been lucky enough to live my life and not have that experience of losing a friend, um, to suicide. I've had, yeah. So again, we're, we're kind of one step removed from it because it's never personally affected us. Exactly. But when you look at a stat of an average of 14 to 18 men out of 100, 000 take their lives, like, That means within a few people that you know, one of those people has definitely been affected. Like even here living in Edmonton, we have a population of what? 1. 1 million. So 180 men on average in this city a year. Loser's lives to suicide. Yeah, given those statistics. So even living here in this city, like, it's not hard to find someone who potentially is connected to one of those 180 people. Oh, a hundred percent. Know a couple family friends that have experienced family members commit suicide. Funnily enough. Well, not funnily enough. But they were both males. Yep. Yeah. And it's quite upsetting. It's crazy. Just imagine. Yep. And I mean A few of those 18 are just, you know, a couple of your buddies. Yep. Or a couple of your family. Yep. Or, you know. The guy who works in a coffee shop that you used to see everyday, then all of a sudden just didn't see anymore. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be sitting around making jokes about it. No. You know what I mean? Yep. Like if it was actually someone that truly meant something to you. Yep. And I can see how it's at this point, unfortunately, with what we've talked about in the last two episodes, just like, you know, the isolation so many of us go through, and the way we feel, and like you said, the environments we're raised in, and yeah, men don't cry, and you don't show your emotions. Nobody, nobody can voice how they're feeling. Yeah. Nobody. Oh, especially if you're a male. Yeah, especially. Well, I mean, yeah, that's what I meant in regards to males. Oh, yeah. I mean, like, females, yeah, they'll, you know. Talk and express their feelings and have a good old time But and it's always been inherent and very apparent with women. Yeah, which cool but is a good thing Yeah, you know, it's good to express how you feel and process and whatnot as we're finding out. Yeah, exactly. Yeah Yeah, we just are absolutely Trapped within ourselves. Yeah, because it's taboo. It's still in 2024 Taboo to talk about how you're feeling and it's so I guess you could say against cultural norms Unfortunately in a lot of Western worlds, even if you grow up in a household where you're free to express your emotions Because of surrounding environments still news media TV TV shows It's still very much expressed that like as a male you're supposed to be strong. Yeah Minimal emotion. Minimal emotion. No tears. And how do you get through that? Like, it's ridiculous. I don't know. Clearly a lot of people can't. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's unfortunate. And that's what we're trying to convey. It's that fucking hard. You know what I mean? I'm passionate. No, but it's true, and that's, and like, I heard someone say, and just to touch on a couple of the stigmas around, Men's mental health. I've, I've heard people say, and I think I said this on one of the mental health episodes, Like, I have literally heard people say these days, Like men are getting right now what they deserve because of what they've done. I'm sorry. Yeah, we must have all done the same shit. We must have all done the same stuff. Yeah, we must have all done it, you know, we must have some relation to it. Yeah, at some point somewhere, you know, because apparently all men deserve it because all men, you know, cause pain. And the stigma side of things is probably one of the worst parts about everything these days. Because you can feel so trapped sometimes. But like you hear people say things like that and they're like, Yeah, men are finally getting what they deserve. And you're sitting there like, Oh, cool. Maybe this is why this is happening in my life. Or maybe this is why this didn't go right. Cuz I deserve it cuz I'm a man. Yeah. No. Yeah, and you know, you don't deserve it cuz you're a man Yeah, nobody fucking does and I mean don't get me wrong. There are some truly terrible men out there. Totally. Truly terrible 100 percent and Those men, you know what in my mind they deserve what's coming to them. Totally But no, we are, that is not an entire gender. No. You know what I mean? No. Like if you have even listened to one or two of our podcast episodes, you would know that is not all men like, come on. And the portrayal of toxic masculinity these days, like it is extreme and it is only a very small group of people, but that, and the same thing can be said about a lot of groups these days. It's a very small, very loud group of people. But unfortunately there's so much amplification of these voices that people just see a headline, they read a headline and they throw everybody into the same box. And honestly, I don't really care what you're going through. I feel bad for anybody who's just been thrown into a box because of somebody within your group or your identification. Yeah, titles or whatever like if you if you felt sequestered or pushed into a box because of the bad portrayal from other people I feel for you. I feel there's a lot of us out there these days and I think it's super important that we can all Constructively talk about our struggles with this. Yeah, cuz honestly as a male I there are days where I hear people say things and I'm like We're not all like that. Just like, I'm sure I could make assumptions based off what I see in media where people would be like, well not all women are like that. You're right! 100%! Nope. But there's no need to like, take these stigmas and put everybody in the same box. Yeah, and like you've said on so many of these episodes recently like why can't we just be nice people? Why can't we just be good people? It's something that weighs on my mind heavily. Yeah, because I mean it's just so Unnecessary to be an asshole, right? You know what I mean? It takes no time at all to be a decent human It really doesn't. Be nice. You know what I mean? Let someone merge. Hold the door open for someone. Say hello as you're walking by. Say thank you if they let you merge. Nobody says thank you on the roads anymore, man. Nobody says thank you in general. Seriously. Well, even like that group of people I was telling you about this morning that just wandered on in. No good morning, no nothing. Just, we want this, we want that. It's like, It is 730 in the morning, like, we could start with a good morning. Exactly. Like, is it really that hard? Right? To start your day like that? Like, do you really think you're that much better? Right? Cause I got an answer for you, you're fucking not, man. I'll tell you that much right now. You wanna know the end of this story? You die, we all end up the exact fucking same. Exactly. So whether it be buried or ashes, we're all the fucking same dude. Yep. We all wind up in the same place. Seriously. So I don't know if you got that memo this morning in your Cheerios, but there ain't no throne up there waiting for you or some shit, you know what I mean? Def definitely not. Anyway, and that, that is just, I think between all three of these episodes. It's just, this is the building of, I think, why so many people are frustrated. As much as I put down cell phones and social media, there has been some positives. Like, the amount of awareness brought to certain things. Absolutely. Amazing. Absolutely. The amount of people who are now starting to try and talk about these things. Amazing. Yeah. Are there people trying to knock it? Totally, but I think the reason so many people feel frustrated these days about these subjects is because there's finally so many people that are feel free to express themselves and raise their voices about these very vast concerns. I mean, cell phones became super big, what, 2010, 2011? Was the Galaxy S and the iPhone the first ones? I think so. I think so. So our stats on suicide rates are from 2000 to 2022. So from before cell phones and after cell phones, the stats haven't changed. But the awareness around it has, and I think so many people feel frustrated because I know sometimes I wake up in the day and even like we said, I don't know, what was it? 10 minutes ago? We're in 2024. Yeah. How is some of this still a problem? Exactly. That's what I don't understand. I just don't get it. I don't write and it frustrates me. Yeah, it really does. It's so frustrating because it's so simple. It is simple. And these people just choose to be a dick. They just choose to be a dick. And I think that's the frustrating part, cause Everyone's going through shit. Everyone's going through shit. But, you know, some people still choose to be a nice person. Yep. And a lot of people try and be nice people. Yeah. Sometimes when I'm bored. I think that should be the next trend. Just being a nice person? Trying to be a nice person. Yeah. Or a good person. Yeah. Yeah, get that trending on TikTok. Yeah. Fuckers. The, hold the door None of this Tide Pod shit, you remember that? Yes. Oh my god. We can have like the hold the door open challenge. Or the let someone merge challenge. Oh my gosh! Or the say good morning challenge. There it is. How many people can you say good morning to? Yeah. Or your good deed for the day challenge. Right? Yeah. And I'm sure those are out there, but I wish it was, you know, What was more positively conveyed because there's such a tendency to swing towards the negative. Yeah, and I get it It's the psychology of the human brain and all that good stuff. I'm guilty of it, too I really am and you know, it's something I'm working on obviously, but yeah And I mean we've talked about it and we've both had days where we've had to make the mental decision that no today does suck Yeah, but I'm not gonna let it ruin who I'm trying to be. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah I think I had one of those days very recently, but yeah, yeah And it happens. It does happen. It's part of being human. Exactly. You just gotta give yourself that grace. Yes. Give yourself that time to feel that, and process that, and Yeah. Because you have to, man, to bottle this shit up. You're just gonna blow up one day, and a half an hour later, you're gonna regret what you did, and then you're gonna have to make all these apologies. Who knows? You might get fired. You might go through a breakup after it. Who knows? You know what I mean? Just blowing up is never good. No, good things never follow. No, it's and then it just leads you down the exact sequence of episodes we just went through exactly the seclusion the loneliness the sadness and then The unfortunate part all of its unfortunate But the super unfortunate part and the last thing we want and I think the last thing anybody honestly wants is to become a statistic Yeah, let's be real. Nobody wants to be a statistic. No So how do we overcome this? Well, you can't just really overcome it. No. Clearly it's been a statistic for a long time. Yeah. So it's, it is a problem. It is a problem. It's not just something you can overcome. No. It takes a lot of work. Yep. And it takes a lot of time. Yep. You know what I mean? And if you're struggling, like, there's, there's a lot of good resources out there. We'll put some in the description. Mm hmm. Um, Having close knit friend networks are good. Yeah, and at the same time on the flip side if you're not feeling Emotionally negative in some sort of way, but you notice one of your friends starts acting weird Mm hmm, like just don't take it as all they might just be having a rough day Like maybe maybe they just need someone to reach out be like you okay? Yeah, like yeah, if someone starts acting weird, sometimes if people are going through a hard time They necessarily don't just want to come out with it. Yeah, and just tell you about how they're feeling Mm hmm So, yeah, how, how do we overcome and get past these statistics? Just try, let's be better friends. Yeah. Let's be there for each other. Let's keep an eye on each other. Yeah, just in like a friendly way. If you have a friend and you notice they're going through a tough time and maybe they're not reaching out, it costs you nothing to reach out to them. Mm hmm. Nor should you expect anything in return. If anything, maybe if you're going through a rough time in the future, Hopefully if it's a good friendship, they'll be there for you. Um, we're all just people trying to do the best we can to live on this little blue green marble. I mean, we're all forced to be together. Yeah. You know what I mean? So So why not take care of each other? Exactly. And be nice. Not the happiest episode, not the brightest episode, but we honestly hope that you guys take what we said to heart. Yeah, because it's some, it's a subject that means a lot to the both of us. I mean, as you can tell, I was getting pretty passionate and the crazy thing is, is we've never had anyone in our lives be. Um, we've never been affected by this outcome. I mean, when I thought about it, when I was thinking of statistics, I had a couple close calls with some people I know for sure. Right. Um but you know, went through the steps. They they got better. Um and they they get better every day just like everybody tries to. Um but we've never actually had it affect us. Yet, we very much are in environments where we see what it's doing to other people. So, we just want to bring awareness to it. We want to raise. Our voices to it, right? Yeah, and we don't want to just sit here and pretend that it's not it's not happening. Yeah Yeah. Cause even though it's never directly affected us, we, we see the everyday struggles that others are going through. It's happening. Yeah. Uh, statistically quite off too often. It is very much so. So yeah. Yeah. Breaking the silence, breaking the silence. Ah, yeah. I also want to say we didn't just like whip these stats off some random site on Google. No, you know what I mean? No, this is from like a government funded. Canadian site. Yep. Right? And so these are like pretty up to date, firm, factual statistics that we're expressing here. Yep. We wanted to make sure that we didn't just spout garbage. Yeah. Because I mean that's not what we're trying to do here. The crazy thing is, even if we would have just spouted garbage, which obviously with a subject like this we're not going to. Of course. Um. But I don't think I would have put these stats at these numbers like these These statistics 18 out of a hundred thousand way higher than I thought. Yeah Significantly higher actually. Yeah, man, even though there's been more awareness brought to it Which to our point that still means there's so many people out there that don't take it seriously Yeah, which is why we wanted to do this series of episodes this month is to just talk about Just continue the conversation that so many people are having and have continued to have to hopefully Make it better. There is help out there. Yeah, there is a lot of there's a lot of resources out there to help you And I mean if you need it, it's really not hard to find Yep, the human race wouldn't have got as far as we have without support networks of other people No, so can you imagine if we all just hated each other? No friends Family, you're just bitter with each other, right? Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for tuning in, you know We hope you guys took this to heart and yeah, we hope you guys tune in next week yeah, let's keep working together to break the silence and bring these to light and Just be good people to you. Yeah. Yeah break the silence. Yeah, be a good person be kind Stay safe. Eat your broccoli. Stay in school If you're in school, I don't know. Yeah. Um, but anyway, yeah, bye. Goodbye.